This is a professional development blog for Nottingham Elementary. We'll be discussing books we have read as a group. Our discussions will be focused on gifted children.
An advice that I would give a parent who is parenting gifted students is the comparing advice on page 202 under Comparing. Parents should avoid comparing their children, especially if there's a gifted student and the other one is not. Or if they are struggling in areas in which the other kid is not. I really love the " Don't give monetary rewards for top grades." I agree with the book that it could send messages that you love your kids when they are the perfect student. Coming from an Asian family, the one who brought home the best grades got all the praises while the other one was shunned and never discussed with family friends. It can truly be devastating to your emotional well being.
I agree with Sarah. Parents compare not only one sibling against another, but their child to another child. This isn't good for anyone. By rewarding your child with money for A's, you are making your child think A's are only acceptable. What happens when your child makes B? I have had students devastated over getting an 88 on assignment.
I absolutely agree with Sarah Chu from June 16th and how parents shouldn't compare their children to each other. Every child is differnt and comparing them only puts unneeded stress on both of them. If the child isn't the stronger student it sets an unrealistic expectation on the student that they don't be able to obtain and always feeling bad about themselves.
I agree with Sarah Chu on June 16. I think it's easy to want to compare children with each other, especially when you have one that's a GT student and one that struggles that are siblings. You have to remember that each child is their own individual.
I agree with Sara on June 16, when she speaks on the topic of parents comparing their children. I believe it can effect a child's well-being and self-esteem. From now on I am going to take Winebrenner's advice and suggest a resource on "multiple intelligences" and how to discover your child's or children.
The advice I could give a parent for parenting gifted children lays under the subheading Social Skills on page 204. I would explain to not be concerned with making friends that are the same age but moreover, suitable friends that share activities and interests. I sometimes find that gifted children like to make friends with younger students by meanings that they act as coaches or mentors to guide the younger student in their own learning.
I agree, Annie, that sometimes gifted children make friends with younger students. Not only do they enjoy acting as a mentor, but sometimes their social skills lag behind cognitive development. Also, if the younger child is also GT, then they might have so much in common, regardless.
I agree with Annie's June 16 advice to parents that would encourage them to help their child find suitable friends that share similar activities and interests. We can also help gifted and all students in the classroom by having them complete the Interest Survey on pg 147. We can play a game that matches students based on the number of "similar" responses. Hey! How about an eHarmony or match.com for the gifted. Ha! Ha!
The advice I could give a parent of GT children is on page 206 under The Future. GT students may have so many strengths that the prospect of choosing one is depressing. Don't choose a career path for your child. Remember that more than 70 percent of the jobs in the future have not yet been created. Take courses (math and science) that will open the doors to a variety of productive jobs.Something else to remember...while a child may be able to pass courses in flying colors, what might the child LOVE doing 5 years from now? That really helps part the opportunities. Being passionate about a field is super important in the long run. In the short run, we can do almost anything for a little while.
I like the idea about what Melanie Marshall mentions about what might the child love doing in 5 years from now. I like how you are always thinking ahead. Smart!
Melanie, I love the advice not to choose a career path for your child and to encourage them to take courses in areas that will open the doors to a variety of jobs because 70 percent of the future jobs have not been created yet.
I agree with Melanie Marshall's comment on June 19th about how being passionate is super important than just passing the class with flying colors. Passion is intrinsic motivation that drives them to delv deeper rather than just skim through the top. Thanks for that!
The advice I would give to parents of GT kids is from the "perfectionism" section of the chapter (pg.203). Coaching their child with school work and knowing what to say when their child says, "I'm so stupid." Helping them realize what to do next time and another solution is more helpful. Avoiding self-criticizing statements and teaching your child to learn from their mistakes. Teaching your child to give and receive constructive criticism gracefully. All of these are skills that will help a GT child excel beyond our classrooms.
The advice I would give to parents of a GT kid is from the "Praise" section on page 204. I love how they say to use the word encouragement instead of praise. Encourage them to do their best and recognize it when they don't give up and continue to try even if it's a struggle. They should be worried about making themselves pleased with their work,not others. You don't want them doing things just trying to make you happy, but to make themselves happy.
I would say the best advice I could give to GT parents is to just listen to them. On page 202 it mentions the basis of listening, for example: No newspaper, book, dish towel, TV, radio, phone, or computer is allowed when listening. It's easy as an adult to get so caught up in daily life. Children just want to be heard and listened to and feel just as important as we do. You will establish a better relationship with your student/child when you truly listen to them and what they have to say, not just act as if you're listening.
I agree with Rebecca about how important that it is to really listen to a gifted child. I agree that better relationship between parent and child is made when the student feels valued and that their thoughts and opinions are in turn valued by those close to them.
I like the advice form page 203 with regard to perfectionism. She says to constantly reinforce the fact that your child is separate from his accomplishments. We are who we are, not what we do or don’t do and the idea that too much praise for products that took little effort leads kids to think that they are always expected to get great results without trying very hard and that many kids end up concluding that smart means easy. This then sets them up for a vicious cycle in which the child does not apply themselves in an effort to avoid not being perfect all the time or avoid having others see them working hard because then they will think I am not that smart.
The advice I would give parents comes straight from the book, page 207, "Gifted kids are not special. All kids are special. But gifted kids do have serious frustrations with curriculum design for age appropriate learners." Children in gifted programs struggle with this along with grades, peer pressure, social acceptance, etc. Because they are in the gifted program oftentimes their problems are exacerbated. Parents need to advocate but not pressure for placement in gifted programs.
The advice I would give to a parent comes from page 202 and 203 form this chapter about comparing, and the trap many parents fall into of comparing their children to one another, and also comparing their child's successes to other students in their classrooms. I liked the point made about helping to educate children that individual differences exist and it is ok to not be exactly like someone else. I believe that children need to be individually valued instead of being held up to a standard made from another sibling.